


Come be lonely with me

by imma_monster



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson (Broadway Cast) RPF
Genre: M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slight tigger warning, self hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-04-25 06:25:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14372838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imma_monster/pseuds/imma_monster
Summary: Takes place after evan writes the letter for zoey and Connor didn’t kill himself. Evan is walking home from school when it starts to rain, he uses a gas station for shelter and runs into Connor Murphy





	Come be lonely with me

**Author's Note:**

> I will continue this story if requested by more then 5 people(I doubt that will happen).  
> Also if you want to continue this story just ask, most likely I’ll give you permission.

I just want to get home, actually I don't want to go home, I just want to get away from this school, it's filled with people I'm envious of. It's so cloudy, I should have brought a sweater or something. I wish my mom would pick me up, I don't want to walk home today, but she's busy at her school thing, like always.  
   
I take my headphones out and plug it into my phone, I play my songs on shuffle. I skip the first few songs, the songs Jared said I should download, they aren't very good but I don't want to delete it because he's my only friend.  
   
I mean my only "family friend", I wish I had a friend, someone who actually considered me as their friend.  
The song that is playing really reminds me of me "If you're lonely come be lonely with me."  
   
I sing quietly to myself, rocking my head with the toon, until Something wet touches my nose, I look up, It started raining, but thankfully very lightly, I can make it home without being completely drenched. Another drop, another drop, even more drops, and shit now it's rain really hard. The doctor said I'm not supposed to get my cast wet. I tuck my arm in my stomach and crouch to keep it from getting wet, I look around to see if there's anywhere I could go until the rain stops, there's a gas station just down the hill, If I run I could make it. So that's what I do, I almost slipped about 10 times but I got there and my cast was dry, I look to the counter and there was some guy reading a magazine, not caring that I was there. I look around the store and my eyes land on Connor Murphy sitting in an old chair about 5 feet away from me, looking out the window.  
   
I start to panic, what if he beats me up because of the letter about Zoe. I shouldn't have written about Zoe. I feel like a piece crap, I should tell him I'm sorry. I know if I stand here trying to think of the perfect way to say sorry then I'll lose my chance and I'll never get enough courage to speak to him again "I'm sorry." My face goes red, I think I said that a bit too loud. I look down at my feet, but I can feel his head turn toward me.  
   
"why?" He asks.  
   
"Umm, because of the letter I-I wrote. . . about Z-Zoey." I stuttered way to much.  
I lift my head up just enough to see his eyes, he's staring at me, his eyes half open, then he turns his head slowly to the window and watches the rain drops roll down the store window.  
   
"Well then I'm sorry to." He says and I look up from my shoes, I take a long look at his face "I overreacted a bit, but that was because I was high." He looks down and his feet, he looked ashamed.  
   
"Weed?" I ask and he nods his head, but that doesn't make sense to me "but I thought it calms you? It doesn't make you angry. Y-you know I just heard that I from p-People, I wouldn't actually know because I-I never tried it."  
   
He laughs quietly to himself "yea that's what weed does, but it never really did that to me, it was more like, Making my emotions more? Like if I was mad I would get angry, or if I was sad it would make me depressed. Do you know what I mean?"  
   
"Yea I know" I stare at the ground not knowing what to say next, there's an awkward silence but he doesn't look bothered at all. I look around, trying my best to think of something to say. I see an empty chair next to him, it isn't close to the point where we'd be touching shoulders but it's not like we'll be ten feet apart for each other. I walk over and sit down. I assume that he doesn't want to talk any more, but I have a question to ask. "Then why do you smoke it? I-if it doesn't make you calm?" He started to shift in his seat uncomfortably, he probably feels pressured, I'm a shitty person "y-you don't have to answer." I say to quickly but he looked relieved after I said it. "I'm sorry I ask a lot of questions."  
   
"Why did you write that about my sister?" I look away from him and I feel my hands start to sweat, and my throat feels shaky.  
"B-because I-I uhh, feel . . . Feelings, for-for . . . I just, . . . Feelings, f-for her." My voice was shaking the entire time During that sentence. It was so difficult to say, and I don't know why I did. What if he hates me now? I wouldn't be surprised if he did.  
   
"Yea she does have that effect on people, but I do have one question." I look at him sympathetically "Did you ever have more then one conversation with her?" I stare at him, shocked, then I look back down at my shoes. Theres something stuck in my throat, it's preventing me from talking, even though, I still manage to tell him the truth.  
   
"No." I whisper back, I don't even know if he heard me, I don't think I've ever felt this ashamed. All I want is to go home.  
   
"I don't understand, how can you, 'feel feelings' for someone you don't know?" I look at him with shame in my eyes  
   
"I don't know." He looks me in the eye but I turn away.  
   
"You never talked to her more then once." He looks me dead in the eye before telling me. "that's how it's gonna stay. I don't want you talking to her." There's this coldness to his voice, it makes me want to jump out of my skin. I nod my head slowly. He stands up from his chair, he's really tall, way taller then me, but it's probably just the angle. "It stop raining." I stand up, nevermind he's just as tall as he looks.  
   
"I didn't even notice." He starts to walk to the door but he stops when I talk "I'll see you at school." He looks back, holding the door open.  
   
"Yea, see you at school." And he leaves the building without another word.


End file.
